


Wounded Guardian Angels

by Mersayde



Series: My Darlings [10]
Category: Growing A Sun
Genre: Angst, Blink and You'll Miss it Fluff, Mentions of Violence, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 07:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15636447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mersayde/pseuds/Mersayde
Summary: sometimes loving someone is hard





	1. Distorted Halo

Sometimes it isn’t easy being friends with Tera, don’t get him wrong, he loves her like she’s everything, he’ll do anything to make her happy, but it’s hard. It’s hard watching your best friend, your _family_ , throw herself into harms way because she doesn’t value her blood when it’s pumping in her veins.

It’s hard watching her pick herself up off the ground after being disregarded like a rag doll, hard watching her limp away with bloody lips and black eyes, it’s hard watching her avert her gaze as he patches her up. Nothing to be said, nothing to fill the air, because everything worth the words has ended in shut doors and tired sighs.

It’s hard watching Tera fling herself in front of fists and jump into chaos because she has a fucked savior complex, she feels like she has to save the general populace, save everyone how she couldn’t save herself. Tera feels that if she isn’t protecting others than she isn’t worth the space she takes up. 

He’s tried to tell her to stop, tried by whispering, by talking, by crying and begging and he only receives a hug in return. She can’t string her thoughts into what she needs them to be, she can’t tell him that this is all she has to live for. She can’t tell him that without this, without the pride that swells in her chest through intimidation, she feels like nothing. That the scars on her knuckles, the cuts on her lips, and the occasional broken rib reminds her she’s alive, that she’s still got some fight left in her bones, makes her feel like she’s doing _something_. 

He’s tried to at least help, gain some muscle so she has a partner in crime, but she promptly freaked out, told him she’d break his arms if he ever thought of crossing into trouble. He knows she wouldn’t ever hurt him, that it’s a plea and not a threat, but stays in his place to alleviate her stress.

He’s tried to tell her that she doesn’t have to keep doing this, stepping in the way of unstoppable forces just to prove she’s an immovable object.

But the thing is 

She does move 

Her fists, her legs, her chest 

Her ribs and bones. 

They all crack under the weight of her shoulders.

“Take off of work tomorrow,” He says, cleaning an open cut on her cheek, watching as her eyes snap towards him. 

She scoffs.

“Now why would I do that?”

“Because you’re hurt. Sammie will understand, maybe Ruth can cover for you, she’s been begging for more hours anyway.” He bites his lip, knowing his request can end in multiple ways. Her eyebrows pinch together, he can tell she’s thinking. He’ll make sure she keeps busy, or at least annoy the fuck out of her so she doesn’t even notice when the sun sets.

It’s hard, trying to win small battles inch by inch, trying to keep your whole world alive when it’s stuck on trying to move from the suns orbit.

“Hmm, yeah she has, but-”

“But nothing. Take off, or I take you to the hospital this weekend. Your choice.” His ultimatum isn’t a hollow threat, and she knows that.

It's a low punch, he realizes, but he’s going to pull out all the stops so she can too.

She hates hospitals. Hates the smells, hates the pseudo caring eyes and blinding white walls. 

She told him once, drunk and tired, about how she was sent when she was younger. No older than twelve and scared. He remembers exactly when her eyes glazed over, slid into nothing of emotion as she quietly rambled on.

Apparently, she had to tell the doctor that she got in a fight with a bully at school, that the broken arm and crooked nose was a result of confronting them.

But there were none. At least not her age. And not at school. Her foster father had been angry. Came home after another failed interview. Next thing she knows she’s at the bottom of the stairs, screams tearing from her throat until she passes out. They probably thought he finally messed up and killed her, probably thought they should take her to make them look concerned. Gabe can’t do anything about it now, but that doesn’t stop his blood from boiling and his teeth from grinding in anger. He’s never felt so protective of someone in his entire life.

She didn’t have to say it then, but Gabe knows that her hate for hospitals stems from that, stems from the many times she’s probably had to lie through her teeth, in pain, in fear of her life, to protect people that never gave a damn about her. 

“ _Fine!_ Fine, you win.” She laughs, he wishes she would do that more. He plucks her on the nose and watches her face scrunch up. “But, you have to help Ez with his calculus homework.”

Gabe smiles, he can do that. “Deal.”

It’s hard being Tera’s friend, it’s hard loving her. Not because she hands out her sarcasm like left over party favors. Not because she puts him in headlocks when he eats her food, or because sometimes she laughs so hard her limbs flail haphazardly. It’s not hard because she loves fiercely, or talks through his favorite shows, or silently worships Indiana Jones movies. 

It’s not because she doesn’t realize her purpose is beyond her pain. It’s not because she’s too much, or not enough. 

It’s because she’s _everything_. 

It’s hard loving her, because he knows she’s impossible to tame, she won’t listen, she won’t abide by commands, of course. So telling her to stop going on a self destructive rampage will only make it worse, will only fuel the tar under her nails as she digs deeper into the pit. 

So instead, he has to work around her, has to place fresh soil and grass around the destroyed streets, has to gently tug at ropes and pull the ends of her heart closer and closer to the soft clouds and away from the erupting volcanoes. 

He’ll keep doing it, he’ll keep winning small battles if it keeps her alive, he’ll keep gardening if it keeps her healthy. He’ll keep writing her worth, clear as thin glass, on every surface he can find, if one day the words float past her eyes and into her heart.

And it’s hard loving Tera, but it’s worth it.


	2. Distorted Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes caring about someone is hard

Sometimes it isn’t easy being friends with Gabe. Don’t get her wrong, she loves him like he’s everything. She’ll do anything to make sure he knows he belongs, that she wouldn’t trade him for anything the world has to offer.

But it’s hard. It’s hard watching your best friend, your _family_ , disregard who he is because he’s been convinced he’s not worth its space.

It’s hard watching him leave his room in the night, eyes sunken and red from sorrow, it’s hard watching him pretend he doesn’t have tangible skin and lungs. It’s hard when heavy words are left unspoken, lingering in between their chests, because they’ve only led to dropped shoulders and uncertain shrugs.

It’s hard watching him stumble through the door, barely remembering his name or where’s he’s been; his eyes slowly light up as he slurs, 

_“Oh! I nope you. My bestie, Teriyaki!”_

It’s hard when small tendrils of guilt wrap around the immense pride and fondness she feels, because even when completely inebriated and out of it, he never forgets her face.

It’s hard trying to tell him to sit down and talk about what happened, talk about the things he tries to force down his throat with cheap vodka and whiskey.

She doesn’t know what to say. What does she do when she can’t even form a theory to his warped disposition?

“Mmmm, scoot. I wanna lay down.” She says, climbing under the covers as Gabe rolls over with child like enthusiasm.

She’s tried to help, tried to coax him away from throwing himself off that cliff he’s briefly mentioned. A loosely recollected confession during a bad night, through uncontrollable sobs and hiccups, through slight tremors and cursed memories.

 _“Everyone who loves me, only wants to _—_  to use me for their own gain. Ha ha, I should’ve known Reece—” _He stops, the name sour on his tongue. She finds she can’t do much but hug him tighter, trying to squeeze the pain from his body.

“Okay, if you stay in here, you have to let me cuddle you!” He all but yells, holding his pinky out. She knows Gabe has a thing for affection, he convinces himself that he doesn’t need it.

But the thing is,

It’s there,

Hidden beneath the chambers of his flesh,

Sitting in his veins,

Collecting each drop of felt abandonment and rejection.

It crawls through his pores, rolling off him in desperate waves.

She pinches his pinky between her index finger and thumb and shakes it. She bites back a laugh and waits, knowing just how he’ll react.

“Ugh!” Gabe scoffs, rolling his eyes. “You’re such a fucking dork.” But Tera knows there’s no actual insult under his tone. A small smile ghosts over his lips as he tucks his head under her chin and curls up next to her. She doesn’t mind this if it keeps him home, keeps him from chasing away his demons at bars and in other beds.

It’s hard loving Gabe, not because it sounds like he’s auditioning to be a reality tv house wife most of the time. Not because he becomes completely boneless when something is _that_ funny, not because he swears on his life that he’s the second coming of Christ (despite being Hindu), not because he groans loudly in the morning, or shoves his stinky socks in her face just to see if they’re still wearable. 

It’s not because he doesn’t realize his purpose is beyond his pain. It’s not because he’s too much, or not enough.

It’s because he’s _everything._

It’s hard trying to convince him that he’s a necessity, like air, like water. It’s hard trying to shut down any insecurities that arise deep from his past. She knows she can’t control him, can’t shove him in her breast pocket to protect him from the world, can’t convince him to stop trying to forget that tears leave his eyes as the liquor burns his throat.

So instead, she’ll keep fighting the small battles, keep hugging him as if he’s never been warm without her, keep making him smile as if his mouth is only unfastened around her, keep reminding him he’s important, and special, and loved. And even if the words drop at his feet before they sink into his skin, even if he can’t let them be enough, or mean enough, she’ll keep going, keep doing it for him, keep plucking at the words she knows he can hear her say.

And it’s hard loving Gabe, but it’s worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys don’t understand how much I love writing about Tera and Gabe’s friendship, the sweet, the bitter, just *chefs kiss* they’re relationship is everything to me. I put so much into them. I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Please lmk if you have any fave parts!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments? Kudos? Fave parts?


End file.
